Vertigo
by Anna Marcelli Palmer
Summary: Feelings are confusing. They can lift you to a heaven of sheer bliss and then toss you carelessly in an inferno of loss, pain and remorse. We don't choose who we love, nor are we protected. The end is vague, but that's the best flavor of it.
1. Exasperation

**My first long Sonamy story. The introduction is based on my song Rainy Day's Blues (you can find it at my stories).

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**Vertigo _by Anna Marcelli Palmer_**

_-SONIC'S POV.-_

She left.

I stood there, in the middle of the road, motionless, my eyeballs following her petite figure until she couldn't be seen anymore. I saw her walk away, farther and farther from me. She soon became a faint shadow in the horizon, before the familiar shape just faded out, leaving me numb, a poignant gap throbbing inside my entrails.

My mind had always been screaming, for fear of this perspective coming true. And now-how ironic!-there I was, my right arm raised before me in a pathetic way as if it could reach the girl that only five minutes before was in front of me, her presence filling my senses, loud laughter ruthlessly showing off the true meaning of vividness. Nothing of it all was left to me anymore. Just a memory, like it had all been a dream, and the lonesome company of the raindrops plopping on my face.

Water made my vision vague and the universe seem so empty; even emptier than my heart.

My body was freezing cold, a shiver running through my spine. My fur was damp. Turning a green pair of crying eyes to face the boundless sky, arms were brought together to wrap my torso in an attempt not to feel so lonely anymore. The feeling was unbearable; was it remorse? Was it the realization that I would never sink in those green pools again? As if it mattered...

Suddenly, there she was; right _there, _as if she had always done so. Gentle eyes staring into mine, velvet lips moved. No sound echoed, though. Only the shape of her mouth gave a slight indication of the phrase, yet not clear; it could have been an "I love you", but had also seemed like a complaining "How could you?" at the same time. In stark madness I screamed her name, and automatically felt intrigued looks of passersby penetrating me from everywhere, like laser beams. Taking a swift glance at them, a gasp escaped my mouth.

I had been talking to nobody.

_Perfect. Just FUCKIN' PERFECT! Now you will go insane, as well...Shoot._

Tears. More tears. A loud groan.

_Stop._

_Men don't cry._

Sigh.

_Boy, just...pull yourself together! You'll forget about her, she wasn't so great a deal, after all. Don't do this to yourself, you can't break, you can't break, you can't...you...you just..._

A deafening cry came from inside the throat, uttering words that made no sense. Falling to my knees, I buried my clenched fist into the mud with all of my power and thrust gloved fingers deep into the watery substance.

_To hell, for all I care...I CAN'T be the harsh, easygoing hero anymore...it is damn hard to smile at every barrier that comes to your way...I have beset so many fights, so many losses. I...I did my best...but not her! NOT HER!_

_Oh, God._

_If you exist, I beg you. Heck, I have never actually implored anyone. But maybe, just maybe...perhaps I deserve a favor. I'm a good person, helpful, fearless, and all. You..you c-can't take her as well. She was just meant to be happy...I should be, too, for I prevented her from messing up with the definition of hazard, but somehow...who knows what came over m-_

"MOVE FROM THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD ALREADY, YOU ASSHOLE!!"

Thoughts and prayers waned in a flash. Reality was still there, moving on as always. An elderly lady waiting for the bus to arrive, tightly wrapped in a thick, warm cloth, was still finding interest in my somewhat ridiculous figure. As for my self, I found out the guy was still next to the indignant driver, whose right hand was currently popping out of the window, gesturing enthusiastically.

Lost, alone, and soaking wet, I compromised in a silent nod and automatically stepped back to let him pass. A trembling hand made its way through my quills, then veered to sweep a certain liquid from a pair of vacant eyes. Those, now clean and dry, rolled up to meet the clouds. Rain had stopped.

Life always has a merciless inclination to move on...whatever happens.

* * *

The streets were now desolate and a deadly silence seemed to wrap them gracefully. The night sky was now clean and ornamented with billions of luminous stars showing me a path I wasn't quite sure where it ended up to; I followed whatsoever.

In the graceless depths of the city, a tree stood, solitary, proud, its leafs rustling along with the wind's music. It was, perhaps, the only witness of the scene.

A sad smile.

Light substitutes dark, Station Square is gradually brought to life once again. People will start going to work shortly, struggling to catch the bus, be at the office in time, following this modern, vertiginous rhythm. Every single soul in this place, but me; for I am just the wind, always the wind.

Music comes to the ears from somewhere afar, melancholic and beautiful. Images of the past run through my head. Her smile. Her dress. Her voice.

The sun rises while I, wading reluctantly over streams of watery mud, disappear into the vastness of the horizon...

_She left._

_Amy Rose does not exist._

_Not in my life._

_Not anymore._


	2. Damn Him

_AMY'S POV._

The wind hissed morbidly as it traveled its trite way throughout the city, countless raindrops plopping on the muddy streams around me. A sparse mist was exacerbating my vision, thus I could only distinguish the slender shape of his body, being a slight indication of his presence in the storm; hands clasping the fabric of his jacket in an attempt to deceive the sensation of numbness, teeth gritting in cold. Precious gems, the rich color of a thriving orchard, were now sinking in mine. Sorrow imbued them. No affection; just sorrow, and an indecipherable sparkle.

A jumbled mess of emotions were bickering inside me, causing a terrible commotion beneath my ribcage. Rage. Hatred. Solitude. Exasperation. Love. I could almost see them spin in a vigorous dance, flirting and wrestling with one another, unable to find out who the winner of this insane battle was. Lips parted, blackish, cold, frigid, only to utter three letters, those mere, tiny letters that had dueled my nightmares for a long, long time.

"W-why?" the stammer came naturally, and downright uninvited. I watched those green pools roll awkwardly, in a possible attempt to steer clear of something. Me? I 'll never know. Characteristics slightly distorted in order to seem irritated, I saw the carefree teenager turn harsh, rigid. An emotional mask introduced that new person; introverted, uncaring, indifferent.

Then, suddenly, one could see it glaring in his eyes as it sprinted its way through them. The indications were very few; were your sight acute and concentrated on him, you would be able to watch those beloved traits as they were loosened, a hint of liquid gleaming with pride on his right cheek. Was it the rain?

_...Did the rain, sunrise of my day, make those orbs red, too? _

"It just wasn't meant to be, Amy" It was a statement, adamant and impersonal, as his palms sheltered each other slowly, gently. My eyes followed them throughout the whole process, only to move on with untamed quills moving gracefully along with his head, and then a slight shadow ruining the pristine perfection of his face. That beloved face, engraved in my memory for ever, an imperceptible flinch depicting an indefinite image of feelings I wish I had had the opportunity to sink into. In vain.

Thoughts marched their way through my mind. It was over. After so many years I had been fooling myself, chasing an elusive dream, it felt like a stab, right there, in the heart. Everything had been my fault...my immaturity and blindness, all that useless, silly hope.

Suddenly, I could see it clearly, as though it had always been there. Billions of images, versions of his blue figure, came alive in front of me; Sonic running away, Sonic wincing in vexation, just in the view of mine, Sonic sprinting at full speed, with _her _in his arms. Her name echoed in my mind, painstaking, reminiscent of her impeccable sight, a specimen of conclusive perfection. It was _me _who had been unfair, interfering with his emotions, none of which belonged to me. I had humiliated myself, come up against all odds, ignored all those who cared for me for a whim...for someone that I subconsciously knew I wasn't the one meant to make happy.

Rage declared retreat, to give its place to a deep, bitter hatred. Not for him, but myself.

"I... love...you..."formed between deep, wild breaths, not only was the quote a cliche`, but a pathetic one as well; I loved him, every single flaw, or habit, or mere trait of his made my heart thump in sheer adoration, a simple desire to sacrifice myself, or leave it all behind, just because _he _had wished so.

Lips moved, slowly, bashfully. The succession of sounds seemed almost heavenly to the ear. His voice, so familiar, so smooth and beautiful, instigated a poignant flutter in my ribcage, feelings growing beneath my chest, bound to explode. It was nothing more than a whisper, almost inaudible, albeit loud enough for me to hear.

"You don't know"

Face lowered its gaze, vacant green gems met the ground.

"There are so many things you cannot possibly understand", he sighed, "You'll probably hate me for this, but I just _have _to end it...It is only that-"

A delicate finger on his mouth hushed him. The blood throbbed mercilessly in my veins, a sensation of dizziness intoxicated me, due to that mere touch; it was my hand that rested on his wet face. Overwhelming emotions were choking me, stealing me of my breath. Soaking wet, frozen in my tracks, I felt a welcoming warmth embracing me. Time ground its pace to a halt, the mind stopped functioning to sink in the vertiginous inferno of savage bliss.

I don't know if I looked in his eyes as I spoke, for he looked vague and distorted through the salty liquid tumbling its sluggish way down my cheeks.

"I know" I stuttered, then averted my look. My palms were loath to escape the contact, and were immediately hidden in the pockets of my coat. His gloved hand grasped my shoulder, a restraint to my attempt to go away that made a shiver overcome my body.

Damn him.

_No, don't turn back. Don't look at him again! Don't..._

"Just let me go"

The grip was loosened, until his arm fell motionless to his side. My feet started moving quickly, in blind panic, the sensation driving me crazy. I ran, and ran, and ran, until every muscle on me protested in every step forward. Lethal poison in my veins, madness soothed the physical pain, urging me to go faster. Surroundings spun happily in an insane chaotic dance, voices were awakened in my head, so deafening that I would swear they were real.

"_Promise me you will never leave my side"_

"_Whatever you say, Ames" _

"_It is never going to work, don't you see it?"_

"_A friend told me that when there's no time to worry, all you gotta do is run"_

"_Do you love him?"_

"_..."_

"_It is not bad to love someone!"_

"_Silver, stop! So he is the Iblis Trigger?"_

"_Thanks, Amy. I...appreciate that"_

"_If I had to chose between Sonic and the world..."_

"_Elise!"_

"_...I would chose SONIC!"_

_* * * _

It was not anger, nor sadness. No feeling was enclosed in that raw, desperate cry. Just pain. Deep, sharp, unbearable, stark pain. The sounds had just joined together to form an incoherent, fearful scream. Then everything transpired in a flash. A distressed patter echoed, an indefinite shadow moved beside me, two fragile, feminine arms were wrapped around me.

My forehead and clothes were damp, albeit it was not the rain; I was in a room, warm sheets covering me. Eyes half-closed to adjust to the intense light emanated from the lamp somewhere near, I examined the surroundings as if they were a new sight to me. Then it struck my tired brain; The room was mine. The sheets too.

My torso moved convulsively to escape the grasp.

"Where is he? He should be here! Where is he? Where?"

Azure orbs, a gleam of sadness in them, sank in mine in consolation. Steeped in anxiety, eyelashes fluttered with surprise as she witnessed my reaction. Capturing my wrists in hers, the bat immobilized me, a preoccupied expression at her face.

"Amy", she said calmly "Look at me"

Rouge. She had brought me home.

"He is _not _going to come, and you know it"

Silence. The words, simple, small, were enough to bring me back to reality. I had fainted in the middle of Station Square, and apparently, my best friend was the one to find me.

It stabbed me. Again and again. I was so weak and ungrateful, it just was pathetic. First Sonic, then her; seemingly enough, I was an annoyance that couldn't take care of herself.

I flinched at the salty taste of a certain liquid that had reached my lips.

"I am sorry"

And with these words, I collapsed in her arms.

"Shh, honey, it's fine"

But nothing was.


End file.
